How to Build Mindset and Courage Needed to Lead Decisively
Let Bygones Be Bygones – The Courage to Lead Beyond Popularity.
In leadership, holding onto past mistakes or striving to please everyone can block progress and stunt growth. I learned this a long time ago when I was in the military. During my time in Lebanon in 1982, the year Israel invaded, I encountered one of the most tense leadership moments of my life. It was during a curfew, and while we were only a small team of ten, we faced a crowd of several hundred people outside, gathered in a rally. The situation was critical—they needed to go inside immediately to avoid escalating the already volatile environment. The pressure was immense, and there was a strong temptation to back down or compromise to avoid confrontation.
However, I knew that letting the situation get out of hand could have had serious consequences for both the civilians and my team. Instead of yielding to the pressure, I decided to stand firm. We communicated clearly and assertively, staying calm but unwavering in our stance. It was not easy, as emotions were running high on both sides. But through maintaining control, showing conviction, and focusing on the bigger picture—ensuring everyone’s safety—we managed to diffuse the tension.
In the end, the crowd dispersed, and no one was harmed. It was a reminder that leadership sometimes means making tough, unpopular decisions in the face of overwhelming odds for the greater good.
True Leadership
True leadership isn’t about being popular or avoiding tough decisions—it’s about courage, conviction, and focusing on the bigger picture. When leaders let bygones be bygones—whether they’re dealing with their past failures or navigating conflicts within the team—they create the space needed for innovation, decisive action, and long-term success. Let me give you two other examples. Take, for instance, a leader facing pushback on a major organizational change. Rather than dwelling on past attempts that failed or trying to appease those resistant to change, an effective leader stands firm in their vision. They communicate the long-term benefits, provide support for their teams, and make tough decisions to stay the course. It’s not about being liked in the moment—it’s about leading with integrity and moving the organization forward. A decision may not be popular now, but it could be exactly what’s needed to thrive in the future.
Another example comes from leaders who face difficult personnel decisions. A leader may have to move a well-liked employee out of a role where they are underperforming. Though this decision might cause discomfort in the short term and be unpopular with the team, it ultimately serves the best interests of both the individual and the organization. It takes courage to make such choices, but leadership isn’t about maintaining popularity—it’s about steering the ship in the right direction, even when the waves get rough.
For me, leadership development isn’t just about learning new skills. It’s about building the mindset and courage needed to lead decisively, especially when those decisions might not win immediate approval. Great leaders prioritize long-term success over short-term popularity, creating environments where authenticity and growth flourish.
Need for validation
Letting go of the past and the need for validation opens the door to a leadership style that inspires trust, empowers teams, and drives sustainable success. Lead with purpose, stand by your values, and let bygones be bygones. That’s how you unlock the true potential of your team, your organization, and yourself.